31 ways to know you've been playing too much ultimate

  1. You heckle the discus thrower at a track meet because he's too lame to throw a hammer. "The fans want a hammer!!"
  2. When pulled over for weaving over a double yellow line, you try to explain to the officer that he didn't have best perspective, and that it's your call.
  3. You yell "PICK!" when someone weaves in front of you on the highway.
  4. Bagels make you puke.
  5. You yell "Dive for that swill!!" at a baseball game when the first baseman misses an errant throw.
  6. The moleskin won't come off your feet anymore.
  7. People ask you what you do when you're not playing Ultimate, and you don't have an answer.
  8. On the way to work, you accidentally yell, "Clear out!" to the cars in front of you.
  9. You've been to more tournaments than you've had vacation days this past year.
  10. You get confused by reading the directions, "poach fish in simmering broth."
  11. When you call a meeting at work, you ask your coworkers to "bring it in."
  12. Dirt flavored jelly beans taste natural to you.
  13. "Toast" reminds you of a nickname before it reminds you of bread.
  14. Your cleats haven't had a chance to dry in two months (okay, maybe this is just the Pacific Northwest).
  15. If you don't have a disc within reach you fell naked.
  16. The drain filter in your shower is for catching turf.
  17. When headcount issues come up at work, you offer to "rosham-keep-job" with your boss.
  18. When someone talks about visiting a town and you mention that you've been there and they ask "oh, how was it?" and you can only give them directions to the local Ultimate fields.
  19. Every vacation you take includes a tournament in there somewhere.
  20. You use words such as "poach" or "taco" in everyday conversation, as in:
  21. You show up to meetings at work on "ultimate time".
  22. You consider ultimate cheers fine literature.
  23. The man you're guarding yells "poach!" before the disc is checked in.
  24. You accidentally yell "UP!" while watching Monday Night Football.
  25. Your most comfortable shoes are your cleats.
  26. You start wearing skirts when not playing disc (and you're a guy).
  27. You feel cheated when your reverse-spin-upside-down-behind-the-back-no-look-push-pass for a goal gets called "swill".
  28. If you don't play disc for 2-3 days in a row, you forget to take showers.
  29. You high five all your teammates when you win a Ro Sham for the pull.
  30. You start to like the nickname "Swill Boy".
  31. You can say "Oh, it's an old Ultimate injury", and mean it.